Growing Up

Judging from my own experiences, I have never appreciated art like I do today even though I get impatient at times with whatever I'm engrossed in reading or watching or listening to. And this comes from the two and a half years I've spent trying to become a better musician which I don't consider to be quite a significant period of time, but it has, nonetheless opened up my ears to so many more things, that I can barely begin to explain. Tiny little things like the phrasings that Vai does here and there or the emotionally drenched vocals of Thom Yorke on 'In Rainbows' or even my friend, Jeet's solos which have so much character to them that they leave a song incomplete if left out, eluded me a few years ago. Then there are things that I can't even quite put into words, but which I'm sure every good listener catches.

But I'm not a good listener. I'm impatient and I get bored too easily. But the important part being, three years ago I didn't even understand what I was listening to. I didn't understand art myself. Sure I could differentiate between what sounded good to me, overall, and what sounded bad, but that was as far as I got. It was a wall of sound hitting me unlike the individual notes that I manage to hear today.

This fact is the sole reason why I regret not being taught art in school. I had to wait 18 years until I discovered what creativity really meant. And then I was brought out to a whole realm of new ideas and new possibilities. I discovered a whole new reflection in the images I was already familiar with. There is more to a photograph than the colours; there is more to a movie than what you see; there is more to music than the sound; there is more to individuality than a definition.

And while I try to figure these things out, I pity the fact that most people miss out on so much simply because no one bothered to teach them about art. But that's from an incomplete education that most schools these days give out. I never had music classes in school. I didn't even know what the heck 'Kubrick' meant. It was only by a matter of coincidence that I happened to go to college with a fellow guitarist. Who knows what would have happened to me otherwise. I probably would've never grown out of that box.

The point of this post being the same as most of my other posts: try new things. The more you expand your sensory perceptions, the more you broaden your take on life. Would an illiterate person really understand a good book? It doesn't matter if he can see, just like it didn't matter three years ago that I could hear.

Music's made me grow as a person not only as an artist. And if two and a half years can do so much, I wonder what a decade might do or even a lifetime.

Escape Motions

I just found an awesome website!

Escape Motions

This guy Peter Blaskovic is a genius. My header image that you see was created with his Flame tool. Even if you're not an artist, you'll find it very fun to play with. Check it out.

Here are some images I created. Although they're not as brilliant as most of the works in the Flame gallery, you should know they took about 10 seconds each to create.

This next (and much more awesome) one was created by Anleey. Inspired yet?

If only...

Remember that feeling of missing a fantastic opportunity which you know might never come back? And once you've realised you've lost it you try to cook up excuses to make it seem like it would've been a bad move anyway. I just lost one such opportunity. I won't get into details, but right now I feel terrible. =/

If only I had done something different in the past, I'd think. Ah, regret. Not only did I drop the ball, but it landed right on my foot. It hurts, and it hurts real bad. In spite of telling myself that it happened for the best (which also seems like an excuse at this point), I know there is a chance that it didn't and it's hard to ignore that fact. I try everything I can to cheer myself up. Quotes help:


“I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.”

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.”


“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

No, that did not help, I still feel terrible!

I try to look at the issue from the different perspective:

Well if I had not missed my said opportunity, I would have definitely missed the other thing that would have come around at the same time and managed to please me a little more.

And that is sure to happen. I hope.

Well part of this problem lies in the unfortunate fact that life is one crazy, 70 year long (depends) game of roulette. But not just one wheel, there's a wheel for every moment you make a decision, which is practically every minute. Gasp!

Now think about this: Go back to when you graduated school and had to pick a college which had a course you wanted so you could graduate and pick the career you wanted . You had so many options but you could only pick one and you know what you chose. But imagine taking a different step. Even if you went to a similiar college that had the same course and was in the same city, your life today would be totally different. You'd have different friends, different opinions, a different lifestyle, perhaps even a different significant other. Your life today would be totally different. If you've seen the movie, 'Butterfly Effect', you'll know what I am talking about. It's called the Chaos Theory and it's scary!


The college example was just one small decision amongst the thousands that we make every single day. If only this, if only that, I'd be at a better place and that's what everyone always thinks. But perhaps, it's really not as bad as you think. Here's a quote that did manage to make me feel better:


“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” - Marcel Pagnol.

Maybe I'll stop right here and look at how losing an opportunity doesn't really matter as long as your head is still above the water and you're still focused on catching the next bus.

There always is a next bus, don't forget that.